dutchster:

fat-amy-for-president:

albamentum:

drunktrophywife:

being a girl is really fucking expensive

hahahahhhAHAHAHAHhahahahahhahahah WHO IS PAYING FOR YOUR DATES

hahahahhhAHAHAHAHhahahahahhahahah WHO IS PAYING FOR OUR TAMPONS, PADS, ULTRA SOUNDS, PAP SMEARS, OB/GYN VISITS, BRAS, CLOTHES, MAKE UP, HAIR PRODUCTS TO GO ON DATES WITH FUCKERS LIKE YOU?

[cricket sounds]

your failure to understand that there are things much worse than death has always been your greatest weakness

GET TO KNOW ME MEME [2/10] tv shows: orange is the new black
   ”you tried to sell me for a blanket?”

All I wanted was to eat the chicken that is smarter than other chickens and to absorb its power.

680xsouth:

basically i dont care if you drink smoke or do drugs as long as you can hold a conversation about something besides the fact that you drink smoke or do drugs

clgdoublelifts:

*mentioning internet friends to parents*

we went to school together before they moved away a couple years ago.. did i never mention them.. weird.. totally went to school together..

  • me with friends: 9/10 would bang
  • me with family: what's a boy